Have you ever seen Mamma Mia?
I love it. I had no idea that it was a musical when I went to see it in the theatres. I was shocked when she first started singing and I almost laughed. But I have never sat through a movie that kept me smiling the entire time. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love the music. I love the story. I love the actors and actresses in it.
So when it came out of course I had to own it. I was watching it today and I realized that it set me up for disappointment. The main girl, Sophie, (played by Amanda Seifried) has such an amazing bachelorette party and everyone that she has ever known from her childhood comes back to help celebrate her wedding.
That is how I expected the time leading up to my wedding to be. I think I expected that there would be party after party with important people that meant so much to me at different times in my life. I expected the parents of my friends that I always thought of as second mothers to come hang out and help me prepare for my wedding. I expected to have slumber parties with good friends and stay up all night talking about the future. None of these things happened.
In reality, everyone has their own lives. People couldn't come to events because of things going on in their own lives. During my engagement, one of my childhood friends became a single mother, another was having such a fight with her mother that they weren't speaking, another had a hard time dealing with all of her friends getting married while she was still single, another bought a house, and they all lived out of town. All of these people had thier own lives and their own important issues to deal with. And rightfully so. In real life, people cannot just drop their lives and come hang out with you weekend after weekend as you gush about your wedding.
I think that women should be prepared for this. The reality of your wedding planning experience may not be what you expected. Especially now that we are such a global community. I planned my wedding on my own in a city where none of my friends or family lived. Also, most of them worked on the weekends and couldn't give up time to come spend the weekend.
Don't get me wrong, I still had help and I still had support. I had a beautiful bridal shower. I had such a fun bachelorette party at a place that I loved. I had a planning phone call with my Mom that I will never forget. She became this super calm person that talked through table linens with me a week before the wedding. I will be eternally grateful for her support and for her listening to me ramble during that time of choosing what seemed so important at the time.
I just think that women should not be upset if people don't come out of the woodworks to celebrate their wedding. Wedding planning is not all rainbows and fairytales. In fact, for me, the most helpful person was my fiance, which I never expected. But it all served to prove to me that he is the person that will stand beside me and help me choose color palettes when no one else really cares.
I want to be clear that this only applies to wedding planing. My actual wedding was 100 times better than I ever imagined. What was your wedding planning experience like? Was it everything that you dreamed of?